Then You Stand...

"Stand" by Rascal Flatts, without exaggeration, has amazingly described this past week in 3 minutes and 29 seconds. It's crazy that just this afternoon this song popped up on my Pandora and totally stuck. Hence I've listened to it at least 8 times this afternoon, and am listening to it as I write this. (:

You feel like a candle in a hurricane
Just like a picture with a broken frame
Alone and helpless
Like you've lost your fight
But you'll be alright, you'll be alright

Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend till you break
Cause its all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad, you get strong
Wipe your hands, shake it off
Then you Stand

Could it get any closer?

These past few days, this last week of spring break...have been interesting, incredible, hurting, hard, difficult...but a blessing. I was reminded on Tuesday and Friday that I have the most amazing friends in the world. That don't seem to care if I drone on and on at 1 in the morning about my problems, or have to wait until I'm ready to talk to them.

I am so blessed. SO blessed.

And to think that I've so many times been sucked into the mindset of, "I have no one I can trust, no one I can talk to. I'm alone. This sucks."
This is crazy. I love how just this last summer-fall-winter, the people that I "ran into" by coincidence or just pure fate ended up being some of the most incredible people I've ever met. It's crazy. But I love it. (: And you guys help. A lot. More than you know, more than I can ever express...so thank you.
Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!

Friends help. Friends break down barriers that hold in all those dark feelings and shadows that have been taking me over this past few weeks. It's as if God knew exactly what I needed to hear, experience, and encounter so that I could finally let things go and stop bottling up everything.
It's a conscious choice to be happy, or to live miserably.

Things are not back to normal. No, like I said to a friend, I'm not standing yet.
I'm still on my knees, working on getting up.

This time is a blessing. It's teaching me HOW to stand, HOW to encounter and defeat these shadows, HOW to let things out to my friends instead of holding it in all the time. So, in essence...this time is a blessing.

It's the time when you "taste what you're made of." Realize that being a Christian is NOT easy, and that you're definitely going to go through times where it seems like there's no way out. You might bend till you break, think it's all you can take.

So...it's where you're on your knees, begging God to notice you, when you start realizing that He's right over you the whole time- keeping you from falling any farther, or falling in the first place.

"God is a like a seat belt. You might slip, but He'll never let you fall."~M.L.

And like everything else you hear, it's making me stronger. Some how. I don't see the big picture yet, I still don't get what's going on. This will help me help others that need help or encouragement, because it's so much easier to help people out when you understand from experience.

I used to be surprised when people understood what I was going through. I was shocked, actually, when someone pretty much understood close to everything last November. But it was because I expected no one to understand and was so used to people NOT understanding and not even caring...that I didn't open up to anyone, shut myself down, and just didn't say anything.
And it's because I didn't expect anyone to understand that I was so shocked when someone came along out of the blue, and actually did.

Every once in a while, you run into those people that might even understand a situation you're going through better than you. Which is weird, may freak you out, and may cause you to thank God for them all the more.
Which in this case, BINGO.

So...it's getting there.
It's where you decide you've had enough, scream to God for help, and He pulls off the ground-maybe not completely- before you fall any further.

I'm on my knees. Working on standing.

And that day, when I escape these shadows, will be incredible. And even though I know that I'll stumble again, be surrounded by shadows... why spend more time on the ground when there's so much that you could be fighting for while standing up?

"Cast your cares on the LORD
and he will sustain you;
he will never let
the righteous be shaken." ~Psalm 55:22


All my lovelies...yup, you're still beautiful. :)
And I hope you'll stay that way. Thanks for being there for me when I really need it, and even when I DON'T think I need it, but you see it anyways.

And if you ever need someone...you know where to find me.
Remey.