The Day That True Love Died

"So the soldiers took charge of Jesus. Carrying his own cross, he went out to the place of the Skull (which in Aramaic is called Golgotha). There they crucified him, and with him two others—one on each side and Jesus in the middle.
Pilate had a notice prepared and fastened to the cross. It read: JESUS OF NAZARETH, THE KING OF THE JEWS. Many of the Jews read this sign, for the place where Jesus was crucified was near the city, and the sign was written in Aramaic, Latin and Greek. The chief priests of the Jews protested to Pilate, “Do not write ‘The King of the Jews,’ but that this man claimed to be king of the Jews.”

Pilate answered, “What I have written, I have written.”
~John 19: 16-22

So yeah, it isn't any big surprise that of all days, I would definitely post today. On the topic of Jesus' death, and hopefully(sometime next week) Resurrection.

Good Friday.
Why do they call it good? Well, that's an obvious answer.
It's hard, honestly.
It's hard to know whether to be happy or sad today.

Unfortunately, I found today more weird as the day progressed.
Instead of focusing on the pain that my Savior suffered for me years ago so I that I could live, I just couldn't seem to stop focusing on my pain. Which is ridiculous and selfish.

The past few weeks have been hard and exhausting and confusing. The day I think I conquer these dark feelings, the next day it's right back there fighting them. Everyday is a battle, and it feels like every day I'm struggling to breathe.

Today(as every year) our family stays off electronics.
For the whole Good Friday we stay off computer, TV, anything BUT music.
So we can focus on what we should be focusing on.
And yet, it was still difficult.

We had a half day at school including a Good Friday/Easter Chapel. So that leaves...10 hours left in my day? At this point more because we're all staying up until 1 or 2(goodness) in order to get Nathan home from his DC trip which he returns from at that ridiculous hour.

So this leaves 10+ hours left.
Each of our family members had their own quiet times, so it wasn't as if we were all talking and hanging around with another. I finished my JV early only to go play outside with Alyse for an hour or so(barefoot-YES) in the warm lovely day.

I had somewhat of a quiet time with tea, Chris Rice&Phil Wickham in the background.
At 7 we attended our church's Good Friday service which consisted of Bible readings, choir songs, congregational singing, and communion.

My main plea in communion?
"Lord, help me to focus on YOU. You alone. Not my suffering, not my struggles...but Your suffering that made me alive and free."

I'll be honest, it was hard. Throughout the service I was longing for the spirit to soften my heart and to open my eyes to something...new? I'm not sure. I just felt like I was putting up walls like I had been doing since last November. Like, literally. I felt myself putting walls in between me and God...knowing He was there, knowing that I needed Him. But not acknowledging or doing anything about it. Almost like I didn't want to.

And after the pastor prayed during communion that God would soften our hearts and not make us ignore or be indifferent from what God has to show us...that was the deal breaker. Message from God, straight on.

Anyways, today was tough. Weird. And I'm hoping tomorrow will be different. But it was also weird because I had no clue whether to be happy or sad.

Happy that Christ took my place nailed to the cross so that I can live forever with Him! Because Jesus died for me, I have this amazing assurance that cannot be lost.
And on the sad side(obviously) of focusing on what He went through...wow.
So that was difficult. I finally decided to focus on the Good Friday portion of this weekend vs the Resurrection portion, it being Good Friday and all...makes sense.

During this past week in Bible class we've been talking about doubt, faith, and familiar things.

You ever think about that while hearing the same things over and over again, the more familiar they get, and the less extraordinary you make them?

Picture this: the first time you try pineapple. Goodness, it's already making my mouth water! So the first time you try it, you fall in love with it, think it's the most lovely thing you've ever tasted, etc. But the more and more you taste it, after the...hundredth time or so you've had it, you may or may not think it's that extraordinary as you did the first time you tried it(most likely you WOULDN'T think it was).

Although that's a very poor analogy, it can be the same with the stories in the Bible.

The more we hear about Jesus dying and raising from the dead, the more familiar it becomes to us, and the less extraordinary it becomes. Don't get me wrong, it's amazing! You may think it still is as amazing as you did the first time you heard it, but you grew up hearing it along with the story about Noah and the Ark.
It's not that big of a deal anymore.
Which is ridiculous, because it IS!

At times...I think Christians are at some sort of a disadvantage because we know all these stories. We're familiar with them, we know where they're located in the Bible, etc. Compared to a first time believer hearing that someone DIED for them...took the blame for all their sins + the world's, got rejected by the world, made fun of, made the outsider...and on top of that hung on a cross all so that you can live eternally with Him? But the story doesn't stop there. After 3 days He rose from the dead and later ascended into heaven.

I'm thinking that would be so much more amazing the first time(if you believed it, of course)you heard it vs. the hundredth like you and me.

That's my goal this Easter weekend.
To look at the story of Jesus dying and rising in a different perspective...one that will make it just as extraordinary as it is and as I thought it was the first time I heard it.

Come close listen to the story
About a love more faithful than the morning
The Father gave His only Son just to save us

The earth was shaking in the dark
All creation felt the Fathers Broken Heart
Tears were filling Heaven's Eyes
The day that True Love died, the day that True Love died
When blood and water hit the ground
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down
We were free and made alive
The day that True Love died, The day that True Love died

Search your heart you know you can't deny it
Come on, lose your life just so you can find it
The Father gave His only Son just to save us

The Earth was shaking in the dark
All creation felt The Fathers broken heart
Tears were filling Heaven's Eyes
The day that True Love died, the day that True Love died
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
When blood and water hit the ground
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down
We were free and made alive
The day that True Love died, The day that True Love died

Now, Jesus is alive

Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive
Oh, He is alive
He rose again

When blood and water hit the ground
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down
We were free and made alive
The day that True Love died

True Love: Phil Wickham
::insert goosebumps::

Loves.
Remey.