Time. Sunshine. Change.

Time seems to fly remarkably fast. Especially during the summer. Or so it seems.
Our family just returned from our month long adventure in Maui! We've been home for almost a whole week, but we're still struggling with the time change{which is surprising, it only being a few hours...}. Maybe because we're changing from doing so much, on so little time{the sun sets super early and rises really early over there}to now doing nothing. We're just plain tired. And the gloomy weather doesn't seem to help. But hey, I'm not complaining about today. I woke up to streams of sunshine shining through my window as well as Mt. Baker and the sound. It was beautiful! Made me realize how much I missed the water...OUR water. Even though Maui's water is beyond amazing.
Along with...what seems to be everything else. It was everything I thought it would be, but everything I didn't expect it would be. Many things had changed since 2 years ago when I'd last visited the island with my family. For one, they don't supply plastic bags anywhere on the island anywhere. Meaning in Walmart, they expect you to bring your own reusable bags or you carry everything out yourself. Lets just say our first grocery trip didn't go as well as we thought it would.

We also ran into several friends there, including my Mom's college friend who just got remarried that she hadn't seen in forever, and just happened to run into. On a different note, we planned to get together with my Mom's cousin and her family and we had dinner and gelato while overlooking Lahaina Harbor. Lovely. :)
It was also a huge time for family. It was like an unofficial Messmer family reunion- 22 of us total, to be exact. We got to see and visit with our cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. from OR along with our grandparents from IL who we stayed with for the whole month there in the same condo. It was a blast! We hadn't seen the OR Messmer's for forever, so it was cool catching up with them and shopping and all that fun stuff that everyone does in Maui. :)We all got fairly tan...Alyse burned{of course}, and got a particularly bad burn the day before we left. Grand. Still has strap marks from her bathing suit. ;)
I took roughly 1000 pictures, a couple videos, etc. It was a blast. :)
Unfortunately, like I told some of you, my camera broke the day OF our traveling. Really!? Goodness...can't explain my feelings there.
I took pictures up until we landed, got our luggage, and drove to a restaurant where BAM! I "dropped" the camera handing it to mom, only like an inch from the table, and there went the retracting of the lens. The guy at the camera shop in town said that it happens all the time, and when you hit it in just the right place, BAM. It blows the motor of the lens, hence causing it to quit retracting. Great. Grand. Fabulous.
It was a test, honestly. God was testing how I would handle the situation and my patience...by taking away one of my most needed items in life the FIRST day of a month long vacation. Well, after freaking for a couple minutes, we resolved it in figuring it out when I got home, and I got to use my grandmother's camera for the rest of the trip, hence taking around 1000+ photos. Bless her. :)
So that was the "drama" of the trip. Besides that...it went too fast. I'll be honest. I know it was going to go fast like it always does, but I didn't suspect it to go THAT fast. It was crazy...it seems like we should still be waking up and walking the 3 mile beach every morning, feeling my toes in the sand, tanning by the pool..
Time flies way too fast. Luckily, I suspected it would, and lived each day there like it was my last. That was my goal of this trip...to not take anything for granted, as hard as it was. I missed my grandparents who have gone every time with us{we calculated it while we were there...this has been my 7th trip!}, but couldn't make it this trip due to health complications. I pray and hope that they can make it in another 2 years...if we go or not. We'll see. But they imply we're going again{they're the ones who pay for a chunk of it in the first place}, and they say that they want to come next time. Soooo much. They love it as much as us...and it pained me to hear my parents phone calls with them while we were there and their crying on the other end of the phone.

I also talked to my grandmother a huge portion of this trip. We talked about everything and anything, from our equal obsession of painting our nails, to the Holocaust, from all the sand/shells on the beach. It was amazing. I didn't realize till then how much I miss her, and how much I'm missing not seeing her on a weekly, daily, or YEARLY basis. I...I miss them. I hope I can fly out in the next couple summers, or they can come visit us. I love them. So much.
Lets see...oh yes, change. Goodness. Here we go again. Umm, lots of things are changing repeatedly in my life. My friends, my family{how much I see them, anyways}, my relationships, my strengths, my insecurities, my emotions, my fears, etc. So, SO much. It's almost too much to keep up with. Actually, it is at times. But it's times like this where I see things clearly. Where I see that no matter what changes...no matter what changes, it's all in God's hands. Nothing can thwart his plans, nothing can change what he has already predestined to happen. Nothing. It's...it's crazy, but it gives you a sense of peace when you finally realize that and give it all to Him. It's hard, though. I know that I will always struggle with this. This constant surrender to God, giving Him everything.


You put your arms around me
And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go
You put your arms around me and I'm home
How many times will you let me change my mind and turn around
I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drown
I hope that you see right through my walls
I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling
I'll never let a love get so close
You put your arms around me and I'm home

But...but He's given me SO much. He's given me a roof to sleep under, food to eat, a family who I love, friends who care about me, a school with amazing teachers and teachings, and a church and church family who all encourage and support each other. He's given me so much...and yet I often hesitate to even give Him PART of my life. Why not give Him everything?!? Le sigh...it's hard. As humans, we want constant control of what's happening. And we THINK we have constant control, when in reality...we don't. We don't control how the world goes round, how much rain WA will receive in the months of June-August, or how many times you will lose and gain friendships. We don't control a thing. And it's hard. But knowing and believing and accepting that something...that SOMEONE else, someone who LOVES you, who wants and does work for YOUR good...knowing that He is in control of everything that goes on around you?

Romans 8:38- And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Well...that's all I need. Why wouldn't I surrender knowing that?
When my world is shaking, heaven stands.
It's a battle. It's one of those things that I will constantly be struggling with, failing and something prevailing. Being victorious, and sometimes falling and Him continuing to help me while whispering, "Keep going, daughter. I am with you."
Things will change, but He won't.

Stay Beautiful.
Remey.