Stay Strong

Stay strong, you are not lost, come on and fix your eyes ahead.
There's a new dawn to light our way.

Stay strong, you and I run for the prize that lies ahead.
We've come too far to lose our way.

Stay strong, his grip is sure, and his patience still endures.
They'll be no letting go today, no way.

Get up.
This race can be won.

Lauren Christine.

Cry Out to Jesus

God, I thank you for being faithful.

For never leaving me no matter how many times I may run from you. For listening and hearing my cries no matter how much I try to block out your voice sometimes. For keeping a steady hand on me no matter how much I try to fight your arms that are holding on to me.

Father, I thank you for being faithful. Bring me back home.

Lauren Christine.

Today

Today was one of those days where anything but blessings seem to fade.

Your focus is altered off of your problems and troubles and instead on the simple and yet beautiful aspects of life that are so often taken for granted. Such as...

Jumbo cinnamon rolls.
Sunshine.
Sunburns. In WASHINGTON.
Singing.
Cozy sweatshirts.
Warm chocolate chip cookies.
Your dad playing with your hair and wondering where you got the color from.
Eating Chinese food.
Savoring every little moment you have left with your older sibling- every song, every car ride, every talk.
Dancing.
Blaring music like its August.
Talking with old friends you haven't spoken to since December.
The sound of your sister singing off-key.
The smell of tulips.
The feel of aloe vera.
Taste of hot tea.

Lauren Christine.

Spring :)

Valleys and Mountains

Have you ever stopped for a minute in your busy day to look around? Smell the flowers, feel the wind, hear the birds?

Count your blessings?

Most often the most beautiful things in life are missed all because we're to "busy" to do one simple act- stop.

To appreciate all you've had and all you have presently. The opportunities which opened up new doors, and the trials that made you stronger. The situations that God chose to shine his grace and mercy and, well, miracles through.

Stopping and recognizing all you have can bring on different waves of emotions. For me, it brought back a specific thought/hope that kept burning in my mind.

That although I may not feel God now as much as I have or as much as I'd like to, he's still here. Right next to me. Helping me through this valley while keeping my eyes fixed on the mountains up ahead.

Reminding me that this will indeed pass.

How thankful I am for all the mountains and the valleys and that things are never constant.

"Would you appreciate something that always felt the same? Even the air you breathe makes you go up and down. Your heartbeat goes up and down. If we were always at the same place in our relationship with God, in this world, it would be like having no relationship with Him. Like in a heartbeat, if we didn't have the ups and downs we wouldn't be alive. Yes, God wants you to feel Him. But He wants you to know, trust, and believe Him more. And you cant learn trust without risk. Without pain. Just like now."



Lauren Christine.

Empty Me

Lord, empty me of ME so that I can be filled with YOU.

Lots empty me of my selfish inside. Every vain ambition and the poison of my pride. And any foolishness that my heart holds on to.

Lord, empty me of ME so that I can be filled with YOU.




Lauren Christine.

Never Fading Flame

It's so hard when you can't see.

The big picture, I mean. The end result. The finish line to this race.

Because in reality, nothing matters here. Not the car you drive, how many medals you earn in sports, or the amount of money in your bank account.

None of it really matters.
Why?

This is not our home.
This is not our final destination.
This is not where we belong.

No matter how much pain or confusion may strike during our time on earth, it's not going to effect our future living with God eternally in heaven.

Is this not encouraging?
My goodness.

I admit, it's hard to focus on all the time, but hearing this when feeling so blinded and stuck at a dead end is PAST the word "encouraging".

It's that small sense of hope that keeps shining no matter how dark, endless and, frankly, HOPELESS something may seem. Nothing can extinguish that light.

Nothing.

Lauren Christine.

I Have A Shelter

I have a shelter in the storm
When troubles pour upon me
Though fears are rising like a flood
My soul can rest securely

O Jesus, I will hide in You
My place of peace and solace
No trial is deeper than Your love
That comforts all my sorrows

I have a shelter in the storm
When all my sins accuse me
Though justice charges me with guilt
Your grace will not refuse me

O Jesus, I will hide in You
Who bore my condemnation
I find my refuge in Your wounds
For there I find salvation

I have a shelter in the storm
When constant winds would break me
For in my weakness, I have learned
Your strength will not forsake me

O Jesus, I will hide in You
The One who bears my burdens
With faithful hands that cannot fail
You’ll bring me home to heaven

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfect of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame..."
-Hebrews 12:2

Good Friday? Wake up call.
Lauren Christine.

Glory, Glory, Glory...

So I've just noticed (AGAIN) how long it's been since I've been on my blog. Or other people's blogs. Or blogs in general.

It's finals week. Blah. Things are busy, stress levels are rising, and tea is running short in the Messmer household. I have 5 total, and have 4 completed so far. I finished today at around...1:10PM? And came home at a lovely time immediately after. :) It's weird being home right now. But as I'm sitting around thinking of something to do(other than study for tomorrow's exam, of course), I'm surfing through the Internet and find blogs! My blog! My friend's blog! It's so weird. I forgot what this was like to post...to post anything.

So I guess life has really been busy, actually. Not overwhelming, but easy. My first year of my 4 year high school career is going surprising well. Not sure if any of you remember (I certainly do), but I believe it was...last summer? or so that I was stressing about this year, the freshman hike, the upcoming volleyball season, etc, and I posted several times about it and talked to some of you personally about my worries and struggles of the upcoming year. And as most of you said, YES, it was definitely something I shouldn't have worried about at all. :) God was at work in my life and he still is. He got me through the week of the freshman hike, my first year of volleyball for high school, and the last couple months of freshman year. Have they been necessarily EASY? No. But were they worth it...? Yes. Of course they were.

I believe I've grown in my faith tremendously from this last summer till now. So many things are going on around me that I could easily crumble under, but God has slowly and surely been giving me the strength to stand through all the worries and struggles I've gone through in the last couple months. I won't go into much detail than that, but God is good. He works wonders and I don't think I've ever been as close to Him in my life than right now.

That being said, I'm still struggling with my spiritual life. I'm keeping up on my nightly bible study, and I've completed my studies of the books Colossians and Hebrews, and am now on to Romans. I'm even in shock that I went this long. I struggled at the beginning of my very first study with doing it every night- I would make excuses for myself or say I was too tired, say I'd do it the next night, but never do it. It would slowly push further and further back until I was behind weeks. It was crazy. But I soon discovered that I really need that time alone with God and I treasure it dearly throughout my crazy life. I told one friend a while ago how I was struggling with it, and she simply told me to not let it slide. Not to let myself sleep before I did it. If it even came to the point of my eye lids drooping closed, I HAD to do it. I had to make myself. And since then, my self discipline has grown immensely. Not saying in the slightest way that I ALWAYS keep up. Just the other night I skipped because of exam studying. But even that shouldn't be an excuse, and I see that. So I ask you all to keep my accountable some how, and if I ever talk to you about struggling with keeping up with it, slap me silly until I listen again. ;)

Like I said earlier, I feel closer to God now than ever before. I see His work in my life so much clearer than before and in a brand new, exciting way. I still have several things that scare and worry me about the future, but the way God is in control of my life now gives me the assurance that when the time comes for the things that I'm most worried about, it won't be any different.

As for the past few months?

I wouldn't change a thing. I'm thankful for the tears. Because all that? It got me HERE. Where I am NOW.

Throughout the last week or so I've been struck- and I mean complete AWESTRUCK- with how blessed I am. How much I'm given by God's grace on a daily basis that I don't deserve and yet am so quick to take for granted. I have truly a beautiful life. And I know how much I forget that and think otherwise, and it hurts me to think that I've ever been angry with God for how my life is or whatever is happening. I know all things work together for good, but it's definitely hard to see that. It's hard to trust God that he knows what he's doing and can see the whole picture when I might just see the little piece. It's tough...but it gives you strength. It gives you endurance, and God preparing me with the small things will help me in the future for the bigger things. I'm so thankful that he has shown me this. There will be days where I definitely won't have this thought process. I'll be down, thinking I can't get back up, thinking it's hopeless. But thank the Lord Almighty that this is a truth that I can always stand on.

So that's that. That's where I am.
I guess I will keep this dear ol' blog for times when I just need to write and praise God for all He's done.

To Him be the glory. I would have nothing without Him.

Lauren Christine

News. News. News.

How long will it last?

So I realize that I haven’t written in forever. Oh here, I mean. Oh goodness, I’ve written. For school papers, essays, assignments, to-do lists, song lyrics, journal entries, prayers, you name it. I’ll never stop writing. That’s for sure.

But on here…that’s a different story.

Life’s been busy. I can’t decide whether I should keep this going or not. I’m not really sure I write things on here that are helpful to others, or if it’s technically just a journal for me to get out what I need to say or what I’m feeling during that time. I’m just not really sure. I’m pretty sure I haven’t had one entry for the month of November alone, maybe not even October. I’ll have to look at that.
Anyways, thoughts? Email me. Talk to me. Comment. I don’t really care. Let me know what you think, if it even matters to you at all, or if you would miss “A Glimpse Of….” In any aspect at all.

Hmm. Okay. We’ll see, then.

Aside from that, I guess I should let you all know how things are. B-U-S-Y. Not to the point of overwhelming, but busy. It was overwhelming, and it probably will be next month once the lovely week of finals rolls around. My first week of high school finals. Yippee.

Although I haven’t been on here for a significant amount of time, I do remember things that I’ve written in the past. For example, I remember writing about my worries and fears of high school. Being scared out of my mind for my first high school season of volleyball, the freshman hike, and frankly, just a NEW beginning.
Looking back, I see myself as silly. SILLY. My word. But I do understand why I was so scared. Some of those things listed above were some of the hardest things I have ever had to do. Really. I never would have thought I could do it, but I did. It’s amazing looking back and seeing how much God was working in my life during that worry period. It was horrible. I couldn’t sleep, didn’t eat much, couldn’t focus. If any of you know me enough, you know this happens regularly when I’m nervous or scared or confused about things. My whole body reacts in weird ways and…yes, it’s just bad. But that time is gone. And I’m glad. I’m glad that it happened, but I’m glad it’s over.

But high school has been amazing. The past…3ish months of my life have been some of the greatest, the most challenging, and the most confusing. You may think that the confusion and challenge totally weighs out the great, but the confusion and challenge were actually a huge part of the great, weird enough.

The past months I’ve learned so much about myself, about my friends, about my fears, my worries, and about God. In some ways I would love to relive the past months, but in other ways, I’m glad they’re gone. And I know that can be said for any time of my life. I’ll always have regrets, but I’m always going to love things that have happened.

So that’s where I am. Loving freshman year, loving my friends that God has blessed me with, loving the growth I’m seeing in almost every aspect in my life. I feel like I’m standing still while everything else is traveling at 100mph around me. Things are changing…really fast. But I still see God working. And I’m striving to keep that in focus.

I've Got a Busted Heart

Winter has come back again
Feels like the season won't end
My faith is dying tonight
And I won't try to pretend

I've got it all figured out
I don't have any doubts
I've got a busted heart
I need You now
Yeah, I need You now

Hold on to me, hold on to me
Don't let me lose my way
Hold on to me

I am the wandering son
Your love is never enough
I keep chasing the wind
Instead of chasing Your love
I'm screaming out Your name
Don't let me fall on my face
I've got a busted heart
I'm in need of a change
I'm desperate for grace

Hold on to me, take all of me
Don't let me lose my way
Hold on to me

Broke Your heart a thousand times
But You've never left my side
You have always been here for me

You never let me go
You never let me go
Don't ever let me go

Hold on to me, hold on to me
Don't let me lose my way
Hold on to me

Hold on to me, take all of me
Don't let me lose my way
Hold on to me

Until it comes to an end
Soon this season will end
I'll surrender tonight
You meet me right where I am

Busted Heart(Hold On To Me)- For King & Country

It's scary how accurate this is.

Lauren.

They tried their best to drag him out
Of a courthouse down in montgomery
Now they want to kick him out of school
And take him off our money
They can take those words off of paper and stone
But he aint gone, no

He ain't the leavin' kind
He'd never walk away
Even from those who dont believe
And wanna leave him behind
He ain't the leavin' kind

She stayed mad at him for a lot of years
For taking her husband
Started losing her faith and thinking that
Her life meant nothin
But when she looks at those kids
She raised all by herself
She knows she had some help
Yeah she knows

He ain't the leavin' kind
He'd never walk away
Even from those who don't believe
And wanna leave him behind
He ain't the leavin' kind

No matter what you do
No matter where you go he's
Always right there
With you

Even from those who don't believe
And wanna leave him behind
He ain't the leavin' kind

He Aint The Leavin' Kind- Rascal Flatts

If you've wondered about lack of posts, it's regarding lack of...inspiration. Feeling.

So I guess this is it. Until next time. Whenever that will be.

Lauren.

Help.

It could be so easy to give up right now.

Before another week of tests, hardships and trials.

I'm kind of sick of saying how hard it is, and not doing anything about it.

I guess it's time to act.

But part of me knows that I can't do it all. It's a work of Someone else, of course.

Someone I trust. And love. And care about. And lean on.

Okay, I give up. I can't do this on my own. I can't. I know that. It doesn't work, and it only makes things worse.

Take over. I need your guidance.

Things are spinning too fast to see clearly.

The Right Thing

Doing the right thing is…sometimes really hard. When you’re being showed by God and the Holy Spirit and even your own mother that something you’re doing isn’t exactly good for you or the people around you, it can be a real humbling experience.

It started when…well, school started. We got a whole host of new teachers. A new music teacher, a new PE teacher, a new computer literacy teacher, etc. You get the picture. Our staff was pretty shocked with who decided to leave, as were the students. But the shock didn't end up wearing off. It sort of grew when we saw who was coming our way next.

I’ve never really had trouble with teachers. I respect all my teachers, and my teachers expect me in turn. I’m never rude to them or talk against them, but I understand their difficulty in teaching our class as much as they understand our class’s difficulty in learning under them at times. It’s hard when you don’t see the same way as your teacher. It’s even harder when they don’t see the same way you do or any of your class for that matter. Thus brought the new conflict.

Like I said, I’ve never had trouble with teachers. There has never been a teacher that I really “hated” like some of the other students in my classes. This year we got a new PE teacher along with all the new staff members…and lets just say I’m learning a whole new step on the spectrum of respect.

It’s hard. It’s hard to respect someone who makes you do things that you don’t agree with or think you shouldn’t have to do. But that’s the way it is. Especially since he’s a bit inexperienced. He graduated last year from his college, thus this being his first initial year as a PE teacher. We’re the guinea pigs.

I wouldn’t exactly call it conflict. Well, I guess I would. I’m having a constant conflict with myself and with him on whether or not to respect him. Yes, I respect him to his face and in front of others and whatnot. But it’s getting harder and harder to not join in the complaining in the locker room and the gossip during class. It’s hard.

It’s hard to be IN the world and to not be OF the world.

So you see, doing the right thing is sometimes really hard. To refrain to the gossip that can easily slip out of my mouth and the complaining that I can let out in front of my siblings and parents at home is hard for me now with this new authority figure in my life.

We’ll see where this takes me. God is in control. He brought this young teacher to us for some reason. I know it.

Loves.
Lauren.

Freshman Hike. :)

As per many many MANY requests, I present my week of trial, my days of bonding, my grand escapade into the wilderness, and the start of my high school career...
the MVCS 31st Annual(just kidding...I have no idea how many years they have done this. I just know it's been a LOT)Freshman Hike. :)































































Wow. Yes...as you may have guessed, there are SO many more pictures than that. It was very difficult to pick my favorites, as it was picking my favorite point of time in the trip. Honestly, I have no idea. I would have to say the whole thing was my favorite.

Regarding the pictures with mosquito nets, yes, there were TONS of mosquitoes. Only one of the four lakes we hiked to had very little. Every other lake forced us to wear our mosquito nets every time we stopped moving around and even WHEN we were moving. It was crazy.

More regarding the photos...

Yes, most times we were literally ON THE SIDE of a mountain. As in, if you slipped, you would fall half way down before getting caught on a tree.

At one of the lakes, we had to hike down a still-frozen glacier of snow. And back up in the morning. That was probably the most humorous part of the trip...after all, its funny when people fall down snow and slip all the way back down, right? :)

The 50lbs backpack and you became very close buddies considering the fact that if it went down, you went down with it, and vise versa.

All the high mtn. photos? The huge cliffs? The pictures of what would seem "random" shots of the highest peek? Yes, I took those beforehand while we were being prepped with "Yes, guys, we're really about to hike that. And we have to. Unless you want to camp here for the night...so lets do it!" before having to hike it. So yes, every shot beforehand we did eventually climb over and down that peek/top/mtn. etc.

Our total? 17 miles and 6,700 feet elevation.
During the hours you hiked in a day, you were either going UP the mountain or back DOWN it. RARELY did we have any even spots, in which you can imagine we were close to kissing the soil in thankfulness.

Lets see...

There were 8 girls in my group total, not counting the leaders. Our leaders were Julie and Emily{Jill, you will probably remember Julie from rafting during SPYN camp...? Because she definitely remembered our SPYN group. :)} They were super sweet girls. The catch? Neither of them had been on this trail before. At all. As in, whenever we would ask a question like, "Is it going to start going down hill?" or, more commonly, "How much longer till we reach camp?!" we would get some response like, "Not sure. It's the trail, so we're following it." So it was an adventure for all of us. All we had was a compus and a map. Which sort of made it difficult to trust yourself...which as you can imagine, opened even MORE opportunity to trust in God. You can probably guess what I ended up doing.

The other issue with the leaders not knowing where we were exactly going was the last day. We ended up hiking up to a HUGE peek(one shown in the photos), being told we didn't have to climb it(followed by very long sighs of relief, as you can imagine), hiking back down across it on a different route, pausing, leaders looking at a map, then telling us we had to climb back UP the 13ish switchback trails that we had gone down hill back up the the cliff that we would indeed climb up. Yes. This caused us to be 4 hours late the last day from the time when we were supposed to arrive back at the ranch.

After we returned, our Computer Literacy teacher had us write a paper on the trip...our disappointments, our favorite parts, what we would change, what we would keep the same.

It was tough for several reasons. 1 being that the things that I initially thought I would change, after I put some thought into it, were the things that would have made the trip...not even a trip or wouldn't have made a difference and major change in my life right now. The things I would change initially ended up being the things that tested me the most and showed God's faithfulness.

There were several instances on the trip where I was ready to break down and cry, one where I actually did. The one instance that I did was following a day of around 4 1/2 miles of all up hill hiking, seeing the other girls group and then being re-separated, and a whole host of other things that contributed.

We were cold. It was windy. We were all guessing it was going to rain. Low and behold it was the night that had been passed down in rumor by all the classes before us...the night where our counselors would leave us and see how we would do on our own. The catch? They actually never left us at all. At least not in the way we thought they were going to.

Like they did to every other class, we asked them straight up if they were going to do the same thing. They replied no, and then explained what they WERE going to do. We were camped at a lake that night that had a grass field stretched around the entire lake...maybe a mile around. Not quite sure. Anyways, our challenge was to pair off and be assigned a spot around the lake. At night. In the dark. In the rain(possibly). In the wind. Without leaders. Without tents. Without tarps. Us, our sleeping bags, our duffels, and our partner(in my case, I got the three-some. thank goodness). Our emotions on roller-coasters, our bodies freezing, our stomaches still half-empty(you learned not to take much food).

I'll start by saying I'm not the type to seem...fallen apart. I'll put up a brave front and act like everything's fine and that I have everything put together and that I'm tough enough to get through anything. The thing is, as a child of God, I'm not expected to have everything put together. He knows I'm broken. God broke down that "tough front" that night and showed me how broken and messed up I am, and how I can't lie about that anymore. I kept a plain expression while they were walking around the lake assigning people their spot, saying goodnight, and walking further out with each group while thinking, "Okay, I can do this. No big deal. Y'know, even if a bear walks through camp, no big deal." Y'know, thinking the worst, therefore making me feel worse. Anways...Of course, we were the group that went the furthest around the lake, and consequently, the farthest from camp/leaders/other people.

After they dropped us off, we had to hurry up and get out our sleeping bags and stuff before it got too cold, rainy, and windy. While we were setting up, we all pretty much started freaking out.....Okay, it was pretty much me and barely another girl while the last girl in the threesome just sat there and helped. Finally, I stopped what I was doing, tears down my face, and asked, "Guys? Do you think...*hesitation* (these aren't girls you would normally ask this, but desperate times call for desperate measures, right?)...do you think we could pray before we finish this?" Probably the site of my tears and cracking voice and all that lovely stuff made them hesitate as well, before replying, "Sure. Lets pray." We joined hands, prayed, and continued setting up...probably while they glanced at eachother in disbelief. But at that point, I didn't care about what they thought about me wanting to pray outloud to my only refuge in the trip.

After that, things were a bit better. I didn't lose it till we were in our sleeping bags and I kept thinking of the worst, but after praying to God, "God, this is where the rubber hits the road. I tell myself and others that I trust and rely on you...well, this is where I really have to, isn't it?" And he did. His faithfulness shined through and calmed my heart and pushed those thoughts right out of my mind and down the lake with the rest of my worries. I slept through the night nice and warm, and after the 10 minute scare-spell of "possible rain" as it misted around us, it didn't rain a drop. We woke up to beautiful pink clouds and a sunrise, talked a bit, and went back to camp, smiles on our faces.

At the beginning of the hike, the girls were divided into 2 groups~ 7-9 girls in each group. We each started at one point, crossed in the middle lake, and kept hiking the rest. So both groups were doing the other group's route, just backwords to the other group. At this point, we had no idea we were meeting them until we walked across the lake and saw their tired faces sitting around the fire pit cooking oatmeal for us. :) God knew exactly what I needed! He knew that after I night that like, I would love to see some other civilization where I was aside from my group and rabbid squirrels and birds, so our leaders surprised us by meeting the other group. Our eyes teared up as we hugged everyone and sighed with relief as we sat down, oatmeal in our laps, and friends surrounding us. It was beautiful.

Although that was the main time God delivered me during the week and when I REALLY saw his faithfullness shine through, there were so many others! For example, the last morning when we woke up to watch the sunrise from an overhanging cliff above the lake. Another, the very last day when we had a mile left before we hit the van, I was leading the group, and I felt like I was going to collapse. It's at the point when you think you're going to collapse with pain, fall with tiredness, and cry with emotion when God gives you strength. He gave me strength througout the whole trip- I totally know this. I couldn't have hiked a mile without Him with me. But those times listed above were the times where it was fully magnified to me.

It was an amazing trip. Some of you knew how I was feeling the previous Sunday, the previous Monday, and so on. And so some of you know how much this trip changed those feelings.

There's no way else to describe it. I would do it again, but maybe not for as long and not so much up-hill hiking. ;)

The Lord is my strength and my song- Ps. 118:14.

The verse I had written in sharpie on my hand while I conquered mountains.
:)

Remey.