tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31001729463425044942024-02-07T12:35:49.404-08:00A Glimpse Of...Lauren Christinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15855573492156083534noreply@blogger.comBlogger98125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3100172946342504494.post-71305975156631298462012-05-19T23:01:00.001-07:002012-05-19T23:01:18.138-07:00Stay StrongStay strong, you are not lost, come on and fix your eyes ahead. <br />
There's a new dawn to light our way. <br />
<br />
Stay strong, you and I run for the prize that lies ahead. <br />
We've come too far to lose our way. <br />
<br />
Stay strong, his grip is sure, and his patience still endures. <br />
They'll be no letting go today, no way. <br />
<br />
Get up. <br />
This race can be won.<br />
<br />
Lauren Christine. Lauren Christinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15855573492156083534noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3100172946342504494.post-15845474671096948812012-05-16T23:04:00.001-07:002012-05-16T23:04:29.082-07:00Cry Out to JesusGod, I thank you for being faithful. <br />
<br />
For never leaving me no matter how many times I may run from you. For listening and hearing my cries no matter how much I try to block out your voice sometimes. For keeping a steady hand on me no matter how much I try to fight your arms that are holding on to me.<br />
<br />
Father, I thank you for being faithful. Bring me back home. <br />
<br />
Lauren Christine. Lauren Christinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15855573492156083534noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3100172946342504494.post-78106203300219572952012-04-23T23:23:00.001-07:002012-04-23T23:23:18.747-07:00TodayToday was one of those days where anything but blessings seem to fade.<br />
<br />
Your focus is altered off of your problems and troubles and instead on the simple and yet beautiful aspects of life that are so often taken for granted. Such as...<br />
<br />
Jumbo cinnamon rolls.<br />
Sunshine.<br />
Sunburns. In WASHINGTON.<br />
Singing.<br />
Cozy sweatshirts.<br />
Warm chocolate chip cookies.<br />
Your dad playing with your hair and wondering where you got the color from.<br />
Eating Chinese food.<br />
Savoring every little moment you have left with your older sibling- every song, every car ride, every talk.<br />
Dancing.<br />
Blaring music like its August.<br />
Talking with old friends you haven't spoken to since December.<br />
The sound of your sister singing off-key.<br />
The smell of tulips.<br />
The feel of aloe vera.<br />
Taste of hot tea.<br />
<br />
Lauren Christine.<div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5lSz6ay7ubO09UUG8CpGvPh_OpFjUri76Ki06WPSreN2yJ28iWQSaTengmGFMJ6kTXWxz3xN_KXFbXORcweCKm55DW5YtWW6dUvxofpE3T-qAxZXKqZuef0ZoQVbotpcga2x_mY7HBxA/s640/blogger-image--261071959.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5lSz6ay7ubO09UUG8CpGvPh_OpFjUri76Ki06WPSreN2yJ28iWQSaTengmGFMJ6kTXWxz3xN_KXFbXORcweCKm55DW5YtWW6dUvxofpE3T-qAxZXKqZuef0ZoQVbotpcga2x_mY7HBxA/s640/blogger-image--261071959.jpg" /></a></div>Lauren Christinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15855573492156083534noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3100172946342504494.post-80450902362205605842012-04-23T23:15:00.001-07:002012-04-23T23:15:57.121-07:00Spring :)<div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijfPaLoRPSScb1TIgYrzpevgfdwRyKd211TRefmWhmJiunMCYliuM4VZ9yoUkaAlh8xxLTIMtL1FXvuLe7qluTjZgv2-eW4bwvky78e2-GSfi1bvHNtjoL9rk1mvgw6R5einDWqtW_p0k/s640/blogger-image-858095112.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijfPaLoRPSScb1TIgYrzpevgfdwRyKd211TRefmWhmJiunMCYliuM4VZ9yoUkaAlh8xxLTIMtL1FXvuLe7qluTjZgv2-eW4bwvky78e2-GSfi1bvHNtjoL9rk1mvgw6R5einDWqtW_p0k/s640/blogger-image-858095112.jpg" /></a></div>Lauren Christinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15855573492156083534noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3100172946342504494.post-17530274401330028472012-04-11T23:28:00.001-07:002012-04-11T23:28:14.473-07:00Valleys and MountainsHave you ever stopped for a minute in your busy day to look around? Smell the flowers, feel the wind, hear the birds?<br />
<br />
Count your blessings?<br />
<br />
Most often the most beautiful things in life are missed all because we're to "busy" to do one simple act- stop.<br />
<br />
To appreciate all you've had and all you have presently. The opportunities which opened up new doors, and the trials that made you stronger. The situations that God chose to shine his grace and mercy and, well, miracles through.<br />
<br />
Stopping and recognizing all you have can bring on different waves of emotions. For me, it brought back a specific thought/hope that kept burning in my mind.<br />
<br />
That although I may not feel God now as much as I have or as much as I'd like to, he's still here. Right next to me. Helping me through this valley while keeping my eyes fixed on the mountains up ahead. <br />
<br />
Reminding me that this will indeed pass. <br />
<br />
How thankful I am for all the mountains and the valleys and that things are never constant. <br />
<br />
"Would you appreciate something that always felt the same? Even the air you breathe makes you go up and down. Your heartbeat goes up and down. If we were always at the same place in our relationship with God, in this world, it would be like having no relationship with Him. Like in a heartbeat, if we didn't have the ups and downs we wouldn't be alive. Yes, God wants you to feel Him. But He wants you to know, trust, and believe Him more. And you cant learn trust without risk. Without pain. Just like now." <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Lauren Christine. Lauren Christinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15855573492156083534noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3100172946342504494.post-76076086140256762222012-04-10T22:55:00.001-07:002012-04-10T22:55:56.362-07:00Empty MeLord, empty me of ME so that I can be filled with YOU.<br />
<br />
Lots empty me of my selfish inside. Every vain ambition and the poison of my pride. And any foolishness that my heart holds on to.<br />
<br />
Lord, empty me of ME so that I can be filled with YOU. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Lauren Christine. <br />
<br />
Lauren Christinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15855573492156083534noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3100172946342504494.post-50960012732989894282012-04-07T00:11:00.001-07:002012-04-07T00:14:12.994-07:00Never Fading FlameIt's so hard when you can't see.<br />
<br />
The big picture, I mean. The end result. The finish line to this race.<br />
<br />
Because in reality, nothing matters here. Not the car you drive, how many medals you earn in sports, or the amount of money in your bank account. <br />
<br />
None of it really matters. <br />
Why?<br />
<br />
This is not our home. <br />
This is not our final destination. <br />
This is not where we belong.<br />
<br />
No matter how much pain or confusion may strike during our time on earth, it's not going to effect our future living with God eternally in heaven.<br />
<br />
Is this not encouraging?<br />
My goodness.<br />
<br />
I admit, it's hard to focus on all the time, but hearing this when feeling so blinded and stuck at a dead end is PAST the word "encouraging". <br />
<br />
It's that small sense of hope that keeps shining no matter how dark, endless and, frankly, HOPELESS something may seem. Nothing can extinguish that light. <br />
<br />
Nothing.<br />
<br />
Lauren Christine. <div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvvfh0neSeCgKTXuCn7oruuGDa8QC-_L7BZmnlWOA3x5TU1IDzEs4XzPB_5d13nnx5LlNrbIXse5fPpcXb9DUxTB_HxtY3ahcRi8t-lDeC3pZDq0VLXCWTy0HwnFth5Zw0OKlFbGxPQEU/s640/blogger-image--1800288077.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvvfh0neSeCgKTXuCn7oruuGDa8QC-_L7BZmnlWOA3x5TU1IDzEs4XzPB_5d13nnx5LlNrbIXse5fPpcXb9DUxTB_HxtY3ahcRi8t-lDeC3pZDq0VLXCWTy0HwnFth5Zw0OKlFbGxPQEU/s640/blogger-image--1800288077.jpg" /></a></div>Lauren Christinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15855573492156083534noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3100172946342504494.post-66815742503384385662012-04-06T22:08:00.001-07:002012-04-06T22:08:23.765-07:00I Have A ShelterI have a shelter in the storm<br />
When troubles pour upon me<br />
Though fears are rising like a flood<br />
My soul can rest securely<br />
<br />
O Jesus, I will hide in You<br />
My place of peace and solace<br />
No trial is deeper than Your love<br />
That comforts all my sorrows<br />
<br />
I have a shelter in the storm<br />
When all my sins accuse me<br />
Though justice charges me with guilt<br />
Your grace will not refuse me<br />
<br />
O Jesus, I will hide in You<br />
Who bore my condemnation<br />
I find my refuge in Your wounds<br />
For there I find salvation<br />
<br />
I have a shelter in the storm<br />
When constant winds would break me<br />
For in my weakness, I have learned<br />
Your strength will not forsake me<br />
<br />
O Jesus, I will hide in You<br />
The One who bears my burdens<br />
With faithful hands that cannot fail<br />
You’ll bring me home to heaven<br />
<br />
"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfect of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame..." <br />
-Hebrews 12:2<br />
<br />
Good Friday? Wake up call.<br />
Lauren Christine. Lauren Christinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15855573492156083534noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3100172946342504494.post-17398620949092921772012-01-26T15:11:00.000-08:002012-01-26T15:28:01.218-08:00Glory, Glory, Glory...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL-z0cXmAczPuhX-tMkMNIz82U8MyMk9TkLeqTcdq0LhWkcYrCoGQG-wOobeqq5u-YvaiDK2bMZTi-zi5DTfXniLWOJ-d2D2qX7nefIpQnvHbHeNBvVAExTNcF0qAqH1DlqH8yPUKfQiE/s1600/HOPE.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL-z0cXmAczPuhX-tMkMNIz82U8MyMk9TkLeqTcdq0LhWkcYrCoGQG-wOobeqq5u-YvaiDK2bMZTi-zi5DTfXniLWOJ-d2D2qX7nefIpQnvHbHeNBvVAExTNcF0qAqH1DlqH8yPUKfQiE/s320/HOPE.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5702086228306523074" /></a>So I've just noticed (AGAIN) how long it's been since I've been on my blog. Or other people's blogs. Or blogs in general.<br /><br />It's finals week. Blah. Things are busy, stress levels are rising, and tea is running short in the Messmer household. I have 5 total, and have 4 completed so far. I finished today at around...1:10PM? And came home at a lovely time immediately after. :) It's weird being home right now. But as I'm sitting around thinking of something to do(other than study for tomorrow's exam, of course), I'm surfing through the Internet and find blogs! My blog! My friend's blog! It's so weird. I forgot what this was like to post...to post anything.<br /><br />So I guess life has really been busy, actually. Not overwhelming, but easy. My first year of my 4 year high school career is going surprising well. Not sure if any of you remember (I certainly do), but I believe it was...last summer? or so that I was stressing about this year, the freshman hike, the upcoming volleyball season, etc, and I posted several times about it and talked to some of you personally about my worries and struggles of the upcoming year. And as most of you said, YES, it was definitely something I shouldn't have worried about at all. :) God was at work in my life and he still is. He got me through the week of the freshman hike, my first year of volleyball for high school, and the last couple months of freshman year. Have they been necessarily EASY? No. But were they worth it...? Yes. Of course they were.<br /><br />I believe I've grown in my faith tremendously from this last summer till now. So many things are going on around me that I could easily crumble under, but God has slowly and surely been giving me the strength to stand through all the worries and struggles I've gone through in the last couple months. I won't go into much detail than that, but God is good. He works wonders and I don't think I've ever been as close to Him in my life than right now.<br /><br />That being said, I'm still struggling with my spiritual life. I'm keeping up on my nightly bible study, and I've completed my studies of the books Colossians and Hebrews, and am now on to Romans. I'm even in shock that I went this long. I struggled at the beginning of my very first study with doing it every night- I would make excuses for myself or say I was too tired, say I'd do it the next night, but never do it. It would slowly push further and further back until I was behind weeks. It was crazy. But I soon discovered that I really need that time alone with God and I treasure it dearly throughout my crazy life. I told one friend a while ago how I was struggling with it, and she simply told me to not let it slide. Not to let myself sleep before I did it. If it even came to the point of my eye lids drooping closed, I HAD to do it. I had to make myself. And since then, my self discipline has grown immensely. Not saying in the slightest way that I ALWAYS keep up. Just the other night I skipped because of exam studying. But even that shouldn't be an excuse, and I see that. So I ask you all to keep my accountable some how, and if I ever talk to you about struggling with keeping up with it, slap me silly until I listen again. ;)<br /><br />Like I said earlier, I feel closer to God now than ever before. I see His work in my life so much clearer than before and in a brand new, exciting way. I still have several things that scare and worry me about the future, but the way God is in control of my life now gives me the assurance that when the time comes for the things that I'm most worried about, it won't be any different.<br /><br />As for the past few months?<br /><br />I wouldn't change a thing. I'm thankful for the tears. Because all that? It got me HERE. Where I am NOW.<br /><br />Throughout the last week or so I've been struck- and I mean complete AWESTRUCK- with how blessed I am. How much I'm given by God's grace on a daily basis that I don't deserve and yet am so quick to take for granted. I have truly a beautiful life. And I know how much I forget that and think otherwise, and it hurts me to think that I've ever been angry with God for how my life is or whatever is happening. I know all things work together for good, but it's definitely hard to see that. It's hard to trust God that he knows what he's doing and can see the whole picture when I might just see the little piece. It's tough...but it gives you strength. It gives you endurance, and God preparing me with the small things will help me in the future for the bigger things. I'm so thankful that he has shown me this. There will be days where I definitely won't have this thought process. I'll be down, thinking I can't get back up, thinking it's hopeless. But thank the Lord Almighty that this is a truth that I can always stand on. <br /><br />So that's that. That's where I am.<br />I guess I will keep this dear ol' blog for times when I just need to write and praise God for all He's done.<br /><br />To Him be the glory. I would have nothing without Him.<br /><br />Lauren ChristineLauren Christinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15855573492156083534noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3100172946342504494.post-72173479306367793542011-12-03T19:11:00.001-08:002011-12-03T19:11:51.824-08:00News. News. News.How long will it last?<br /><br />So I realize that I haven’t written in forever. Oh here, I mean. Oh goodness, I’ve written. For school papers, essays, assignments, to-do lists, song lyrics, journal entries, prayers, you name it. I’ll never stop writing. That’s for sure.<br /><br />But on here…that’s a different story.<br /><br />Life’s been busy. I can’t decide whether I should keep this going or not. I’m not really sure I write things on here that are helpful to others, or if it’s technically just a journal for me to get out what I need to say or what I’m feeling during that time. I’m just not really sure. I’m pretty sure I haven’t had one entry for the month of November alone, maybe not even October. I’ll have to look at that.<br />Anyways, thoughts? Email me. Talk to me. Comment. I don’t really care. Let me know what you think, if it even matters to you at all, or if you would miss “A Glimpse Of….” In any aspect at all.<br /><br />Hmm. Okay. We’ll see, then.<br /><br />Aside from that, I guess I should let you all know how things are. B-U-S-Y. Not to the point of overwhelming, but busy. It was overwhelming, and it probably will be next month once the lovely week of finals rolls around. My first week of high school finals. Yippee.<br /><br />Although I haven’t been on here for a significant amount of time, I do remember things that I’ve written in the past. For example, I remember writing about my worries and fears of high school. Being scared out of my mind for my first high school season of volleyball, the freshman hike, and frankly, just a NEW beginning. <br />Looking back, I see myself as silly. SILLY. My word. But I do understand why I was so scared. Some of those things listed above were some of the hardest things I have ever had to do. Really. I never would have thought I could do it, but I did. It’s amazing looking back and seeing how much God was working in my life during that worry period. It was horrible. I couldn’t sleep, didn’t eat much, couldn’t focus. If any of you know me enough, you know this happens regularly when I’m nervous or scared or confused about things. My whole body reacts in weird ways and…yes, it’s just bad. But that time is gone. And I’m glad. I’m glad that it happened, but I’m glad it’s over.<br /><br />But high school has been amazing. The past…3ish months of my life have been some of the greatest, the most challenging, and the most confusing. You may think that the confusion and challenge totally weighs out the great, but the confusion and challenge were actually a huge part of the great, weird enough. <br /><br />The past months I’ve learned so much about myself, about my friends, about my fears, my worries, and about God. In some ways I would love to relive the past months, but in other ways, I’m glad they’re gone. And I know that can be said for any time of my life. I’ll always have regrets, but I’m always going to love things that have happened.<br /><br />So that’s where I am. Loving freshman year, loving my friends that God has blessed me with, loving the growth I’m seeing in almost every aspect in my life. I feel like I’m standing still while everything else is traveling at 100mph around me. Things are changing…really fast. But I still see God working. And I’m striving to keep that in focus.Lauren Christinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15855573492156083534noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3100172946342504494.post-80918705808186240242011-10-27T18:18:00.000-07:002011-10-27T18:20:16.172-07:00I've Got a Busted HeartWinter has come back again<br />Feels like the season won't end<br />My faith is dying tonight<br />And I won't try to pretend<br /><br />I've got it all figured out<br />I don't have any doubts<br />I've got a busted heart<br />I need You now<br />Yeah, I need You now<br /><br />Hold on to me, hold on to me<br />Don't let me lose my way<br />Hold on to me<br /><br />I am the wandering son<br />Your love is never enough<br />I keep chasing the wind<br />Instead of chasing Your love<br />I'm screaming out Your name<br />Don't let me fall on my face<br />I've got a busted heart<br />I'm in need of a change<br />I'm desperate for grace<br /><br />Hold on to me, take all of me<br />Don't let me lose my way<br />Hold on to me<br /><br />Broke Your heart a thousand times<br />But You've never left my side<br />You have always been here for me<br /><br />You never let me go<br />You never let me go<br />Don't ever let me go<br /><br />Hold on to me, hold on to me<br />Don't let me lose my way<br />Hold on to me<br /><br />Hold on to me, take all of me<br />Don't let me lose my way<br />Hold on to me<br /><br />Until it comes to an end<br />Soon this season will end<br />I'll surrender tonight<br />You meet me right where I am<br /><br />Busted Heart(Hold On To Me)- For King & Country<br /><br />It's scary how accurate this is.<br /><br />Lauren.Lauren Christinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15855573492156083534noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3100172946342504494.post-22866072042071101702011-10-15T22:09:00.001-07:002011-10-15T22:09:37.005-07:00<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDEw24YdE56F0bY8u5KS0J3NfCepC3U2p-ehduZ22dEmIMzPlaXi8Ld0BZDXJBBEVCF-UYsVSocNkrck35vS6ltgVv382MnFFpirJV5wBp53l9mfqa0hCJJ9g7vItJSI0mYT8cHf-qVGI/s1600/He+Has+Made+Everything+Beautiful.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDEw24YdE56F0bY8u5KS0J3NfCepC3U2p-ehduZ22dEmIMzPlaXi8Ld0BZDXJBBEVCF-UYsVSocNkrck35vS6ltgVv382MnFFpirJV5wBp53l9mfqa0hCJJ9g7vItJSI0mYT8cHf-qVGI/s400/He+Has+Made+Everything+Beautiful.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5663952790628435890" /></a>Lauren Christinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15855573492156083534noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3100172946342504494.post-91637423476437121982011-10-15T21:42:00.000-07:002011-10-15T21:44:39.639-07:00They tried their best to drag him out<br />Of a courthouse down in montgomery<br />Now they want to kick him out of school<br />And take him off our money<br />They can take those words off of paper and stone<br />But he aint gone, no<br /><br />He ain't the leavin' kind<br />He'd never walk away<br />Even from those who dont believe<br />And wanna leave him behind<br />He ain't the leavin' kind<br /><br />She stayed mad at him for a lot of years<br />For taking her husband<br />Started losing her faith and thinking that<br />Her life meant nothin<br />But when she looks at those kids<br />She raised all by herself<br />She knows she had some help<br />Yeah she knows<br /><br />He ain't the leavin' kind<br />He'd never walk away<br />Even from those who don't believe<br />And wanna leave him behind<br />He ain't the leavin' kind<br /><br />No matter what you do<br />No matter where you go he's<br />Always right there<br />With you<br /><br />Even from those who don't believe<br />And wanna leave him behind<br />He ain't the leavin' kind <br /><br />He Aint The Leavin' Kind- Rascal Flatts<br /><br />If you've wondered about lack of posts, it's regarding lack of...inspiration. Feeling. <br /><br />So I guess this is it. Until next time. Whenever that will be. <br /><br />Lauren.Lauren Christinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15855573492156083534noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3100172946342504494.post-83175972808349471302011-09-25T22:33:00.001-07:002011-09-25T22:35:36.159-07:00Help.It could be so easy to give up right now.<br /><br />Before another week of tests, hardships and trials.<br /><br />I'm kind of sick of saying how hard it is, and not doing anything about it.<br /><br />I guess it's time to act. <br /><br />But part of me knows that I can't do it all. It's a work of Someone else, of course.<br /><br />Someone I trust. And love. And care about. And lean on.<br /><br />Okay, I give up. I can't do this on my own. I can't. I know that. It doesn't work, and it only makes things worse.<br /><br />Take over. I need your guidance. <br /><br />Things are spinning too fast to see clearly.Lauren Christinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15855573492156083534noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3100172946342504494.post-60027542981845426922011-09-19T21:27:00.000-07:002011-09-19T21:28:55.756-07:00The Right ThingDoing the right thing is…sometimes really hard. When you’re being showed by God and the Holy Spirit and even your own mother that something you’re doing isn’t exactly good for you or the people around you, it can be a real humbling experience. <br /><br />It started when…well, school started. We got a whole host of new teachers. A new music teacher, a new PE teacher, a new computer literacy teacher, etc. You get the picture. Our staff was pretty shocked with who decided to leave, as were the students. But the shock didn't end up wearing off. It sort of grew when we saw who was coming our way next.<br /><br />I’ve never really had trouble with teachers. I respect all my teachers, and my teachers expect me in turn. I’m never rude to them or talk against them, but I understand their difficulty in teaching our class as much as they understand our class’s difficulty in learning under them at times. It’s hard when you don’t see the same way as your teacher. It’s even harder when they don’t see the same way you do or any of your class for that matter. Thus brought the new conflict.<br /><br />Like I said, I’ve never had trouble with teachers. There has never been a teacher that I really “hated” like some of the other students in my classes. This year we got a new PE teacher along with all the new staff members…and lets just say I’m learning a whole new step on the spectrum of respect.<br /><br />It’s hard. It’s hard to respect someone who makes you do things that you don’t agree with or think you shouldn’t have to do. But that’s the way it is. Especially since he’s a bit inexperienced. He graduated last year from his college, thus this being his first initial year as a PE teacher. We’re the guinea pigs.<br /><br />I wouldn’t exactly call it conflict. Well, I guess I would. I’m having a constant conflict with myself and with him on whether or not to respect him. Yes, I respect him to his face and in front of others and whatnot. But it’s getting harder and harder to not join in the complaining in the locker room and the gossip during class. It’s hard. <br /><br />It’s hard to be IN the world and to not be OF the world.<br /><br />So you see, doing the right thing is sometimes really hard. To refrain to the gossip that can easily slip out of my mouth and the complaining that I can let out in front of my siblings and parents at home is hard for me now with this new authority figure in my life.<br /><br />We’ll see where this takes me. God is in control. He brought this young teacher to us for some reason. I know it. <br /><br />Loves.<br />Lauren.Lauren Christinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15855573492156083534noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3100172946342504494.post-26475438786994332482011-09-10T16:45:00.001-07:002011-09-10T18:00:00.258-07:00Freshman Hike. :)As per many many MANY requests, I present my week of trial, my days of bonding, my grand escapade into the wilderness, and the start of my high school career...<br />the MVCS 31st Annual(just kidding...I have no idea how many years they have done this. I just know it's been a LOT)Freshman Hike. :)<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhBUMP87pzRhVXlAZf_tqfgwL75Jt_GNZu7UxkHDhBRwYNJMNj-xlf3RFlmz2roqDgkSGLP8jshDAV1zfHrcaCYU3gy7EFmH5-WJkU7JpLJI03nT-Ed2_L_nSj_r_yNvFFWSJOKF_dXfI/s1600/205.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhBUMP87pzRhVXlAZf_tqfgwL75Jt_GNZu7UxkHDhBRwYNJMNj-xlf3RFlmz2roqDgkSGLP8jshDAV1zfHrcaCYU3gy7EFmH5-WJkU7JpLJI03nT-Ed2_L_nSj_r_yNvFFWSJOKF_dXfI/s320/205.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5650896607893455138" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOs0SKeHQxKpqc4Y0Q5xtrWeWqv4kkCQZ4YUK0FvdGBiMWctoSZEp9Sz9icXd3mE_qpAOs0sWOgYEajJhYE0e7HDpuqXOdOWPSKa7w9UUALOtUzqKETgcVIMzu0VXXDnrc81ljCzhIrAw/s1600/278.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; 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margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKLyrNDR-79C6B83uz7cdQWSOfj1O4kfoSNX3AlsZPamqjyYGIICVOHQle0OdgzraqEW7BRvup0Z334R-qeBCgm46_s3Kz1LQ1wwIABRBPsETu5hqgD2LJpSZAH7WHtOUwTjSAB5q4jIc/s320/040.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5650882949446712658" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjU3WrNaiv9PNj6j2inNt1OaOiC28F5dIKv2DsjBw7hr6-pf4cNuiPsJsvkvQ6MSbtzDF03eDEuHp5-6uaaqy1a8QTIupYvB0_4whU2n-MrrhS44Y158dF3DjsgnSah_Gvb8CTPQXo8MM8/s1600/032.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjU3WrNaiv9PNj6j2inNt1OaOiC28F5dIKv2DsjBw7hr6-pf4cNuiPsJsvkvQ6MSbtzDF03eDEuHp5-6uaaqy1a8QTIupYvB0_4whU2n-MrrhS44Y158dF3DjsgnSah_Gvb8CTPQXo8MM8/s320/032.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5650882945195437922" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvogXNjBYljUB7vLAjtUD4lzWmdra7x7fgPujAXsTzOVDqihAU-ZIRsEZD7Ef0FtRMIB7M3i7dda0EFOc85L8Gdjx6Og-vqQJyhfVpsRZtCxNo3qiDJ3eZ4NqmtqwcQvXkCxiCjKW9_9Q/s1600/016.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvogXNjBYljUB7vLAjtUD4lzWmdra7x7fgPujAXsTzOVDqihAU-ZIRsEZD7Ef0FtRMIB7M3i7dda0EFOc85L8Gdjx6Og-vqQJyhfVpsRZtCxNo3qiDJ3eZ4NqmtqwcQvXkCxiCjKW9_9Q/s320/016.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5650882940177786674" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSNSF7CL6X0S_PGEPNL-Chus6jkZ4JqZjgNOzNT3lr_y2b1ncTB1thNj1c-OFvhYQ2mLF2r9zDQAZkd6I1ttVYXBCrE27co6xDida7b-uF_EzgPUDjpQpT1q6wZtFmI1F2OhQkRIOIHd8/s1600/014.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSNSF7CL6X0S_PGEPNL-Chus6jkZ4JqZjgNOzNT3lr_y2b1ncTB1thNj1c-OFvhYQ2mLF2r9zDQAZkd6I1ttVYXBCrE27co6xDida7b-uF_EzgPUDjpQpT1q6wZtFmI1F2OhQkRIOIHd8/s320/014.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5650882937118805282" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFGqpQIABuPpw_tzfJZRb9r0pG8gurM8s6QsySikhaQjquTY1-CBDMGqJuitSA_fgpaFCoGvRvRGnxcB-yMGE8CUBSyZODHmySqNgZGl7Tpu2Bp4BVHMR-8H4ktpH76NpBqj4gSnS9RA4/s1600/077.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFGqpQIABuPpw_tzfJZRb9r0pG8gurM8s6QsySikhaQjquTY1-CBDMGqJuitSA_fgpaFCoGvRvRGnxcB-yMGE8CUBSyZODHmySqNgZGl7Tpu2Bp4BVHMR-8H4ktpH76NpBqj4gSnS9RA4/s320/077.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5650883938825999826" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjumerZ3TDZYOXd8Hof2w35mbf4TN_5MklTI7kh1hXkc1R53fJqJiU3xMN3q5y_UqprySyIAVk1Nu1GLkcsXBT91X4ViaQVGgUFGahaDFFZ_sGX38T2dUZ_xkvN6Ujs3jV1Gs_WZ1qIqcQ/s1600/072.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjumerZ3TDZYOXd8Hof2w35mbf4TN_5MklTI7kh1hXkc1R53fJqJiU3xMN3q5y_UqprySyIAVk1Nu1GLkcsXBT91X4ViaQVGgUFGahaDFFZ_sGX38T2dUZ_xkvN6Ujs3jV1Gs_WZ1qIqcQ/s320/072.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5650883931697364066" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibbCvChgBAQ52CsXcITbvvHaO0Wx_oFSg5hqyMH0NeUWmU6MuAOp0P0vWnH4TueugKbgoJrDBUgbxUSbKPwbdCr9UCyMHMDEIBjJ6fzl423oY0SOSbUVm9K2Mr0GaTTytBnxPWYjN5vA4/s1600/088.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibbCvChgBAQ52CsXcITbvvHaO0Wx_oFSg5hqyMH0NeUWmU6MuAOp0P0vWnH4TueugKbgoJrDBUgbxUSbKPwbdCr9UCyMHMDEIBjJ6fzl423oY0SOSbUVm9K2Mr0GaTTytBnxPWYjN5vA4/s320/088.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5650884461434147698" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqrMtw1IE5ynhzeldSKbvYjJZ6q0rk8SCLKTrnLvMQtfYam38LKpjHM9kDrUt3HIFLElg-KZ7X3Ekm-90p6ayMbI6vKLRWLsDmXiyTEXf295wzLXcOj35DPjkBS_g4hbwrOzeNBMImQ0E/s1600/085.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqrMtw1IE5ynhzeldSKbvYjJZ6q0rk8SCLKTrnLvMQtfYam38LKpjHM9kDrUt3HIFLElg-KZ7X3Ekm-90p6ayMbI6vKLRWLsDmXiyTEXf295wzLXcOj35DPjkBS_g4hbwrOzeNBMImQ0E/s320/085.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5650884457116331730" /></a><br /><br />Wow. Yes...as you may have guessed, there are SO many more pictures than that. It was very difficult to pick my favorites, as it was picking my favorite point of time in the trip. Honestly, I have no idea. I would have to say the whole thing was my favorite. <br /><br />Regarding the pictures with mosquito nets, yes, there were TONS of mosquitoes. Only one of the four lakes we hiked to had very little. Every other lake forced us to wear our mosquito nets every time we stopped moving around and even WHEN we were moving. It was crazy.<br /><br />More regarding the photos...<br /><br />Yes, most times we were literally ON THE SIDE of a mountain. As in, if you slipped, you would fall half way down before getting caught on a tree. <br /><br />At one of the lakes, we had to hike down a still-frozen glacier of snow. And back up in the morning. That was probably the most humorous part of the trip...after all, its funny when people fall down snow and slip all the way back down, right? :)<br /><br />The 50lbs backpack and you became very close buddies considering the fact that if it went down, you went down with it, and vise versa.<br /><br />All the high mtn. photos? The huge cliffs? The pictures of what would seem "random" shots of the highest peek? Yes, I took those beforehand while we were being prepped with "Yes, guys, we're really about to hike that. And we have to. Unless you want to camp here for the night...so lets do it!" before having to hike it. So yes, every shot beforehand we did eventually climb over and down that peek/top/mtn. etc.<br /><br />Our total? 17 miles and 6,700 feet elevation. <br />During the hours you hiked in a day, you were either going UP the mountain or back DOWN it. RARELY did we have any even spots, in which you can imagine we were close to kissing the soil in thankfulness.<br /><br />Lets see...<br /><br />There were 8 girls in my group total, not counting the leaders. Our leaders were Julie and Emily{Jill, you will probably remember Julie from rafting during SPYN camp...? Because she definitely remembered our SPYN group. :)} They were super sweet girls. The catch? Neither of them had been on this trail before. At all. As in, whenever we would ask a question like, "Is it going to start going down hill?" or, more commonly, "How much longer till we reach camp?!" we would get some response like, "Not sure. It's the trail, so we're following it." So it was an adventure for all of us. All we had was a compus and a map. Which sort of made it difficult to trust yourself...which as you can imagine, opened even MORE opportunity to trust in God. You can probably guess what I ended up doing.<br /><br />The other issue with the leaders not knowing where we were exactly going was the last day. We ended up hiking up to a HUGE peek(one shown in the photos), being told we didn't have to climb it(followed by very long sighs of relief, as you can imagine), hiking back down across it on a different route, pausing, leaders looking at a map, then telling us we had to climb back UP the 13ish switchback trails that we had gone down hill back up the the cliff that we would indeed climb up. Yes. This caused us to be 4 hours late the last day from the time when we were supposed to arrive back at the ranch. <br /><br />After we returned, our Computer Literacy teacher had us write a paper on the trip...our disappointments, our favorite parts, what we would change, what we would keep the same.<br /><br />It was tough for several reasons. 1 being that the things that I initially thought I would change, after I put some thought into it, were the things that would have made the trip...not even a trip or wouldn't have made a difference and major change in my life right now. The things I would change initially ended up being the things that tested me the most and showed God's faithfulness.<br /><br />There were several instances on the trip where I was ready to break down and cry, one where I actually did. The one instance that I did was following a day of around 4 1/2 miles of all up hill hiking, seeing the other girls group and then being re-separated, and a whole host of other things that contributed. <br /><br />We were cold. It was windy. We were all guessing it was going to rain. Low and behold it was the night that had been passed down in rumor by all the classes before us...the night where our counselors would leave us and see how we would do on our own. The catch? They actually never left us at all. At least not in the way we thought they were going to.<br /><br />Like they did to every other class, we asked them straight up if they were going to do the same thing. They replied no, and then explained what they WERE going to do. We were camped at a lake that night that had a grass field stretched around the entire lake...maybe a mile around. Not quite sure. Anyways, our challenge was to pair off and be assigned a spot around the lake. At night. In the dark. In the rain(possibly). In the wind. Without leaders. Without tents. Without tarps. Us, our sleeping bags, our duffels, and our partner(in my case, I got the three-some. thank goodness). Our emotions on roller-coasters, our bodies freezing, our stomaches still half-empty(you learned not to take much food). <br /><br />I'll start by saying I'm not the type to seem...fallen apart. I'll put up a brave front and act like everything's fine and that I have everything put together and that I'm tough enough to get through anything. The thing is, as a child of God, I'm not expected to have everything put together. He knows I'm broken. God broke down that "tough front" that night and showed me how broken and messed up I am, and how I can't lie about that anymore. I kept a plain expression while they were walking around the lake assigning people their spot, saying goodnight, and walking further out with each group while thinking, "Okay, I can do this. No big deal. Y'know, even if a bear walks through camp, no big deal." Y'know, thinking the worst, therefore making me feel worse. Anways...Of course, we were the group that went the furthest around the lake, and consequently, the farthest from camp/leaders/other people. <br /><br />After they dropped us off, we had to hurry up and get out our sleeping bags and stuff before it got too cold, rainy, and windy. While we were setting up, we all pretty much started freaking out.....Okay, it was pretty much me and barely another girl while the last girl in the threesome just sat there and helped. Finally, I stopped what I was doing, tears down my face, and asked, "Guys? Do you think...*hesitation* (these aren't girls you would normally ask this, but desperate times call for desperate measures, right?)...do you think we could pray before we finish this?" Probably the site of my tears and cracking voice and all that lovely stuff made them hesitate as well, before replying, "Sure. Lets pray." We joined hands, prayed, and continued setting up...probably while they glanced at eachother in disbelief. But at that point, I didn't care about what they thought about me wanting to pray outloud to my only refuge in the trip. <br /><br />After that, things were a bit better. I didn't lose it till we were in our sleeping bags and I kept thinking of the worst, but after praying to God, "God, this is where the rubber hits the road. I tell myself and others that I trust and rely on you...well, this is where I really have to, isn't it?" And he did. His faithfulness shined through and calmed my heart and pushed those thoughts right out of my mind and down the lake with the rest of my worries. I slept through the night nice and warm, and after the 10 minute scare-spell of "possible rain" as it misted around us, it didn't rain a drop. We woke up to beautiful pink clouds and a sunrise, talked a bit, and went back to camp, smiles on our faces.<br /><br />At the beginning of the hike, the girls were divided into 2 groups~ 7-9 girls in each group. We each started at one point, crossed in the middle lake, and kept hiking the rest. So both groups were doing the other group's route, just backwords to the other group. At this point, we had no idea we were meeting them until we walked across the lake and saw their tired faces sitting around the fire pit cooking oatmeal for us. :) God knew exactly what I needed! He knew that after I night that like, I would love to see some other civilization where I was aside from my group and rabbid squirrels and birds, so our leaders surprised us by meeting the other group. Our eyes teared up as we hugged everyone and sighed with relief as we sat down, oatmeal in our laps, and friends surrounding us. It was beautiful.<br /><br />Although that was the main time God delivered me during the week and when I REALLY saw his faithfullness shine through, there were so many others! For example, the last morning when we woke up to watch the sunrise from an overhanging cliff above the lake. Another, the very last day when we had a mile left before we hit the van, I was leading the group, and I felt like I was going to collapse. It's at the point when you think you're going to collapse with pain, fall with tiredness, and cry with emotion when God gives you strength. He gave me strength througout the whole trip- I totally know this. I couldn't have hiked a mile without Him with me. But those times listed above were the times where it was fully magnified to me.<br /><br />It was an amazing trip. Some of you knew how I was feeling the previous Sunday, the previous Monday, and so on. And so some of you know how much this trip changed those feelings.<br /><br />There's no way else to describe it. I would do it again, but maybe not for as long and not so much up-hill hiking. ;)<br /><br />The Lord is my strength and my song- Ps. 118:14. <br /><br />The verse I had written in sharpie on my hand while I conquered mountains.<br />:)<br /><br />Remey.Lauren Christinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15855573492156083534noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3100172946342504494.post-10207994178676258422011-08-25T15:30:00.000-07:002011-08-25T15:33:21.160-07:00<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9zPK20cIaZ3uD_H1pEtsER5siCxugEorMtDUx8MrYle_A87i66L6MB7MDKIX-YZRs5RKJFG0qc9oWa2twlE8jXRMMcra03ObX_kRFWT2FbOO0cAVplfpa6Z2N3R2l6YrhzXox_DArn6I/s1600/014.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9zPK20cIaZ3uD_H1pEtsER5siCxugEorMtDUx8MrYle_A87i66L6MB7MDKIX-YZRs5RKJFG0qc9oWa2twlE8jXRMMcra03ObX_kRFWT2FbOO0cAVplfpa6Z2N3R2l6YrhzXox_DArn6I/s400/014.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5644925326004617634" /></a>
<br />Lauren Christinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15855573492156083534noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3100172946342504494.post-35017012736780960452011-08-15T12:26:00.000-07:002011-08-15T12:29:21.080-07:00My Escape.I've given up on giving up slowly
<br />I'm blending in so You won't even know me
<br />Apart from this whole world that shares my fate
<br />
<br />This one last bullet you mention
<br />Is my one last shot at redemption
<br />Because I know to live you must give your life away
<br />
<br />And I've been housing all this doubt and insecurity
<br />And I've been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key
<br />And I've been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
<br />
<br />And even though there's no way in knowing
<br />Where to go I promise I'm going because
<br />
<br />I gotta get outta here
<br />I'm stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
<br />I gotta get outta here
<br />And I'm begging You, I'm begging You, I'm begging You
<br />To be my escape
<br />
<br />I'm giving up on doing this alone now
<br />?Cause I've failed and I'm ready to be shown how
<br />He's told me the way and I'm trying to get there
<br />
<br />And this life sentence that I'm serving
<br />I admit that I'm every bit deserving
<br /><strong>But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair</strong>
<br />
<br />Cause I've been housing all this doubt and insecurity
<br />And I've been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key
<br />And I've been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
<br />
<br />And even though there's no way in knowing
<br />Where to go I promise I'm going because
<br />
<br />I gotta get outta here
<br />?Cause I'm afraid that this complacency is something I can't shake
<br />I gotta get outta here
<br />And I'm begging You, I'm begging You, I'm begging You
<br />To be my escape
<br />
<br />I am a hostage to my own humanity
<br />Self-detained and forced to live in this mess I've made
<br />And all I'm asking is for You to do what You can with me
<br />But I can't ask You to give what You already gave
<br />
<br />Cause I've been housing all this doubt and insecurity
<br />And I've been locked inside that house all the while you hold the key
<br />And I've been dying to get out, that might be the death of me
<br />
<br />And even though there's no way in knowing
<br />Where to go I promise I'm going because
<br />
<br />I've gotta get outta here
<br />I'm stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
<br />I've gotta get outta here
<br />And I'm begging You, I'm begging You, I'm begging You
<br />To be my escape
<br />
<br /><em>I fought You for so long
<br />I should have let You in
<br />Oh how we regret those things we do</em>
<br />
<br />And all I was trying to do
<br />Was save my own skin
<br />But so were You
<br />So were You
<br />
<br />Thank you for being my escape...<3
<br />
<br />"For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves..."
<br />
<br />Remey.
<br />
<br />Lauren Christinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15855573492156083534noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3100172946342504494.post-47120572928480936402011-08-15T12:00:00.000-07:002011-08-15T12:25:43.509-07:00Surrender.Clicking the "New Post" button is something I haven't done in a really long time. I realize this. And it's weird, really, to step back from everything that's been going on and just...write about it. But at the same time, and as I've previously explained in my past posts, writing is my therapy. So this is...somewhat the right thing to do at this point. And even though I won't explain everything 100%, and I'll keep some things vague...just try to understand.
<br />
<br />As I sit here with a cup of tea, I don't really know why I'm writing. And I know I might start a lot of posts with this, but it's true. I feel an indescribable need and call to write, so I open up a new page and let God lead me in what He needs me to say. God shows me incredible things when I write. A post may start one way, and end another. And I suspect it'll be the same in this case. So here goes nothing.
<br />
<br />Most of you(well, me, and a couple of you that I've told)know that I suffer from a somewhat mild case of emotional issues/stress/anxiety...etc. It's bad, and it can takeover at times when I bottle everything up. At times I don't even realize what I'm holding in! I hold things in for so long, I hide myself behind masks for such an extensive amount of time... that even what's real in my life becomes faded and hard to focus on. Which brings on the confusion. Last night I had no idea that I was holding so much in, but I realized after I had an emotional breakdown and cried and wailed and sobbed for an extensive amount of time.
<br />
<br />I'm not writing this to make you feel sorry for me. Actually, I'm kind of nervous to write about this. I haven't told everyone about this, and I even try at times to trick myself into thinking it's nothing and it happens to everyone. But it doesn't. And just as much as those emotions were threatening to bubble over and eventually did last night, God was still there. Holding my broken, confused heart as I lay in my bed nearly suffocating because of the worries of this world that were taking me down. It's at that point, the point where I feel like nothing can solve this, where I'm sobbing uncontrollably and overwhelming myself...it's at that point where I realize how good my God is. How faithful, loving, merciful, and protective he is of his children. It's that point when grace collides with the dark inside of us. Glorious things can happen. But I realized(once again), that God will never allow me to fall. And even if it took this much to get my attention...he sure got it.
<br />
<br /><em>Psalm 55:22- Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.</em>
<br />
<br />I didn't really realize what was happening, and I don't really now either. It's hard to put together a chain of broken thoughts and emotions into a giant picture of something you can clearly understand. It is for me, anyways. And although I couldn't figure everything out, I could figure out some things. Some reasons why this was happening. God was testing me. He was testing me to see if I could endure this...this situation, or these situations that could clearly knock me right off my feet if I let them. And until last night, I had. But not in the way that He wanted me to. He wanted me...He wanted me to give everything to Him, surrender and let Him carry the load of things that can ruin me so very badly. But I didn't. Somehow...somehow I figured that I could handle things on my own, carry the load. I was trying to pull everything myself, while keeping God on the side of things. And it's weird, but I promised myself a couple months ago after a similar circumstance that that would never happen again. But it did. And oddly, at the time of my promise, I knew it would. I knew it would never be perfect, and I accepted that with a willing heart.
<br />
<br />Freshman year/hike/sports/people.
<br />Friends...I'm losing.
<br />Family/Sibling issues.
<br />
<br />It all sort of overwhelmed me and came out last night. All these things that I was "handling", or thought I was, were overtaking me quietly and threatening to burst open at any time. Thankfully, I had kept a brave front in front of others. It usually all comes out when I'm alone.
<br />
<br /><em>God, take these worries...these fears, my anxiety, my emotions...take them. Take them all. Take everything I am, I'm clay within your hands. I know I can't handle the load, and I know that you can. So I'm giving them to you. May your will be done through all these things...through me. May you use my life to glorify you and further your kingdom.</em>
<br />
<br />Though, at times, I'm unwilling to accept it, surrender is a daily thing for me. I can't just wake up one morning and shout, "I SURRENDER!" to the heavens, and then resume my day. Surrender is a daily thing...a daily choice you have to make for yourself. No one can make it for you. Every morning, every day, every hour, every MINUTE I have to surrender everything to God. Everything I'll do, say, and think. Everyone I'll think about and talk to. All my worries, fears, dreams, and hopes for the future. As a child of God, I need to live a life worth dying for...and that includes giving everything to God. Not living off the rich bread of this world, but giving each and every last bit of I you have and myself to God. Everything. In turn...in turn, his blessings are beyond what you can imagine. You get this strange...this strange joy that you've never experienced before. This sense of peace that although your world may be shaking, although the sky may be falling, heaven stands. God is in control. He knows what he's doing. And nothing...no friend, no brother, no class, no hike, no sport.
<br />
<br />NOTHING can change that.
<br />
<br />Can we do anything BUT rejoice in that?!
<br />
<br />:)
<br />There it is again. That joy.
<br />
<br />I feel like God has a lot more planned for me that I think he does...
<br />
<br />:D
<br />
<br />Remey.Lauren Christinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15855573492156083534noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3100172946342504494.post-34495080961010059432011-08-04T11:52:00.000-07:002011-08-04T11:53:02.410-07:00<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuhupoSbw911pA9lB-3kEBZY9jys8WRT8beoI3reiKqy0D-Nlh49PMveMaUaxMefY_Xs0JuyhtqowdzPa1xKeIM60tHehvEItQx-aP5rrTA4jFPn0PU45H9Wu1CMiROxNWQ13pynSPYss/s1600/053.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuhupoSbw911pA9lB-3kEBZY9jys8WRT8beoI3reiKqy0D-Nlh49PMveMaUaxMefY_Xs0JuyhtqowdzPa1xKeIM60tHehvEItQx-aP5rrTA4jFPn0PU45H9Wu1CMiROxNWQ13pynSPYss/s400/053.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5637075767691717698" /></a>Lauren Christinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15855573492156083534noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3100172946342504494.post-72077173724162785932011-08-02T16:05:00.001-07:002011-08-02T16:05:39.326-07:00<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaiPmgZqowQy9bfVcqJb2h90AEqF2qc41t47uPulVwpDuEaGs0GlziAzAxwMzUKoRj3ioWRAjJdMx5avRInGWus3W0xFicWV96mICECRVDRx82Gk-SH8_qaHysiZbdChx8NeeJeXxPUcQ/s1600/Lace.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 266px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaiPmgZqowQy9bfVcqJb2h90AEqF2qc41t47uPulVwpDuEaGs0GlziAzAxwMzUKoRj3ioWRAjJdMx5avRInGWus3W0xFicWV96mICECRVDRx82Gk-SH8_qaHysiZbdChx8NeeJeXxPUcQ/s400/Lace.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5636398697217067650" /></a>Lauren Christinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15855573492156083534noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3100172946342504494.post-71305194064477071082011-08-02T16:04:00.000-07:002011-08-02T16:05:07.909-07:00<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiD7n9vrC3D78h2ffK0guRuDiN_pChKmHMAfWnfceCn6plMf6SAQD4h3oqPzVFVBPk_uz9ooK3u_WGDD4b1qlQ58hAUJD3Bf3uWXRaMINwPL43UE1PwHD2ZXSyDs9OZxYoGY_2gxycB6iA/s1600/Hand+Flowers.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 270px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiD7n9vrC3D78h2ffK0guRuDiN_pChKmHMAfWnfceCn6plMf6SAQD4h3oqPzVFVBPk_uz9ooK3u_WGDD4b1qlQ58hAUJD3Bf3uWXRaMINwPL43UE1PwHD2ZXSyDs9OZxYoGY_2gxycB6iA/s400/Hand+Flowers.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5636398560134814242" /></a>Lauren Christinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15855573492156083534noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3100172946342504494.post-89597022161944785012011-08-02T15:58:00.000-07:002011-08-02T15:59:06.668-07:00<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigScQm2FyadUlO8W0QGiFPC7CVY44xoPrdn5n-vq3ntfNEgZis2_m005WV6scwIEeFM5ao-nV9xJXLOG_vzHk2b-UHbuyEO635hDWMYr9ZrnlAyEGlTvjVGVG9t2HYaDggfzQ5S5bfXsU/s1600/CAT4.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigScQm2FyadUlO8W0QGiFPC7CVY44xoPrdn5n-vq3ntfNEgZis2_m005WV6scwIEeFM5ao-nV9xJXLOG_vzHk2b-UHbuyEO635hDWMYr9ZrnlAyEGlTvjVGVG9t2HYaDggfzQ5S5bfXsU/s400/CAT4.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5636397008474928626" /></a>Lauren Christinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15855573492156083534noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3100172946342504494.post-70277703138583154272011-07-27T19:51:00.000-07:002011-07-27T19:57:26.668-07:00Reconciliation.Reconciliation is a large and grand part of life. It brings tears, resolutions, and change sometimes beyond comprehension. It can solve problems, heal wounds, and cause an even better relationship to bloom in the future. <br /><br />Reconciliation, I think, is a big part of my life as well.<br />{And I know this is my second large(ish) post of the day. But again, I felt compelled to write.}<br /><br />Without reconciliation, I wouldn’t be where I am today with…with a lot of people. With my siblings, with my family, my friends at school, and with older examples and influences in my life. Many times reconciliation doesn’t take more than a couple minutes of thought and the decision to “JUST DO IT.” Which is hard for me, I’ll admit. I tend to over think and over analyze situations to the point of being sick and tired of just thinking about it in general. So to just make that decision and man up to what you’ve done…it takes guts. But guts {along with courage} are obtainable and given when asked for {I believe}. <br /><br />My post that I put up earlier today explained how God had given me the long awaited rest that I had needed and had searched for. Aside from rest, God also grants clarity of mind. And as I sit her, a cup of tea in hand and keyboard in front of me, my mind dwells on the situation of not even 20 minutes ago…<br /><br />After dinner Alyse and I decided to ride bikes. We got on our shoes and got our bikes out from the shed and went up on our merry way up the street to bike around our dead end for a while. After 15 minutes or so we decided to go back in when we saw our neighbors up the street {this may sound terribly inconsiderate, but our little neighbor girls love to play with us and bombard us with requests to play for hours…even when we don’t exactly feel up to it}. So we decided to head back while waving to them as we passed. <br /><br />As we raced into our driveway and to the shed to put our bikes away, we got into some silly argument about who knows what {that’s one thing about us…we’re terribly dramatic, and we don’t even remember what we’re arguing about in the first place}. So after we put our bikes away and stormed inside and said things we would definitely regret, we went our separate ways. Alyse storming upstairs and I started the tea kettle with a bang. I drink/eat when I’m upset. It’s a universal fact about me, really. Anyways, Mom comes in and is all, “What happened?” I had pretty much no idea what to respond because I didn’t even remember what we were bickering about in the first place. She walked away with a, “Well you two work it out, then.”<br /><br />While I was preparing my tea, I thought, “Great, Lord. I just blew it. Again. Just a couple hours ago I felt on top of the world. Now I’m here. I just blew the whole “walking with You” for the day, didn’t I?” But that’s the thing. As I thought about it, more and more situations of the day brought to my attention that this indeed was NOT the first time I had blew it. “Gah.” Yeah. Pretty much.<br /><br />Then comes the clarity of mind. All these things of the day pop into my mind and leave me thinking, “Wow. I’m…a failure.” I confess the things I’d done, talk with God for a few minutes in silence in front of my tea, and then decided to go apologize. I go up the stairs to find Alyse sitting on the very top, head down, looking downcast. “What are you doing?” “I don’t know. I was just about to go apologize.” And thus came the apologies and admitting we’re both terrible drama queens and make everything a big deal and yada yada yada.<br /><br />So that’s that. But with this ONE situation, not even 20 minutes time, a host of situations that I had let slip away came back into my mind as a little knock. It reminded me that along with the big things {or what SEEMS to be big at the time} are also accompanied by a whole host of tiny things that we let go of. We think, “Oh, that’s no big deal.” Or, “I’ll ask for forgiveness later, and it’ll all be good.”<br /><br />Goodness. That being said, reconciliation is important. And since I rededicated my life to Christ a few weeks ago, I’m having constant reminders of what I’ve done and guilt about what I’ve done. For example, before I could easily justify my own sin and try to forget about it. Now…now it’s a whole different story. I’m stuck with the feeling of guilt and I KNOW it was wrong what I’ve done, and that I NEED to do something to make it right.<br /><br />Reconciliation can be hard. Really, it can. Pride gets in the way. And it can be so difficult at times to admit you're wrong! It's the nature of humans. But think about all the things you're missing out on by staying mad at them. And if you think about it…if you think about it optimistically, this may or may not be your last day with that person. Look at it this way…<br /><br />What if that had been my last conversation with Alyse? If she would’ve went upstairs and I stayed down here by myself and dramatically choked on my tea with no one to save me or something of the dramatic sort. Yes, that’s quite an extreme case…but that being said, you never really know how long you have with someone. And I know that I would feel absolutely TERRIBLE if that’s how I ended it with my dear sister. <br />With a silly argument that I didn’t even remember what it was about. <br /><br />My mom always taught us that if it’s not important or going to effect you in 10 years, it’s not worth arguing about. It’s true. If it’s something silly, why waste your breath. <br /><br />Reconciliation. Another thing I’ll be working on. But I thank my Father for the clarity of mind He gives me to realize what I’ve done and that I need to make it right before Him and the person.<br /><br />Remey.Lauren Christinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15855573492156083534noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3100172946342504494.post-36191842316483004962011-07-27T14:45:00.000-07:002011-07-27T15:39:24.009-07:00Hold Fast. There is Hope.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5kejWzaavabuPIBdPAizyIALnfD1xJ4odumZgBUGE0LRa_PiNgXUPkkNwB6KX0cNvVfhlRqIkLvPk2ETrk4j1yW8LgAOCtXvX_mBx2KX9GSq8HIP2CqkhJYjKqQgHyuhtbqbGbYjgFdk/s1600/There+is+HOPE.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5kejWzaavabuPIBdPAizyIALnfD1xJ4odumZgBUGE0LRa_PiNgXUPkkNwB6KX0cNvVfhlRqIkLvPk2ETrk4j1yW8LgAOCtXvX_mBx2KX9GSq8HIP2CqkhJYjKqQgHyuhtbqbGbYjgFdk/s320/There+is+HOPE.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5634158953361243282" /></a>At times I feel compelled to write. This would be one of those times.<br />I'm back at that marvelous point of pure bliss, and the realization that although everything may crash around me and situations with people may be uncertain, I have truths that will never, EVER crash.<br />It's hard to write with jumbled thoughts. I have so much to write, because SO much has happened lately! It's hard for me to contain and organize all my thoughts, emotions, feelings and experiences of these past couple weeks/days/months into words. <br />So lets see how this goes...<br /><br />I guess I should start with this:<br /><br /><em>Hello Mercy<br />I have been searching for you lately<br />I've been wounded and from what I hear<br />You have remedy<br /><br />They told me You would be for me<br />So now I need to know<br />Is this a love that can save me<br />Or say You will then don't<br />Will You stay with me when nobody is around<br />If this is real, then tell me now<br /><br />Can you hold me together<br />Can your love reach down this far<br />Can you hold me together<br />Cause without You holding my heart<br />I'm falling apart<br />Falling apart<br /><br />Saying so long, been lost, been gone<br />Not sure what to pray<br />It's not easy but I know You see me<br />When I lose my way<br /><br />I keep on floating not knowing<br />If there is more for me<br />Don't want to sink beneath waves of negativity<br />I'm going under,<br />I'm afraid that I might drown<br />If this is real,<br />I need you now<br /><br />Can you hold me together<br />Can your love reach down this far<br />Can you hold me together<br />'Cause without You holding my heart<br />I'm falling apart, yeah<br />Falling apart<br />Oh, Lord<br /><br />I'm feeling stronger<br />With you by my side<br />And I realize You are my hope<br />I need to know<br /><br />Can you hold me together<br />Can your love reach down this far<br />Can you hold me together<br />'Cause without You holding my heart<br />I'm falling apart,<br />Falling apart, yeah<br />Hold me together Lord<br /><br />Without You,<br />I'm falling apart<br />Falling apart</em><br />{Hold Me Together: Royal Tailor}<br /><br />I ran into this song...a couple weeks ago? when I was listening to the radio in the car. I'm not sure exactly when I heard it, but I did, and it's been stuck in my head for who knows how long. I heard it again this morning while I was getting ready for the day and had the radio blasted in the bathroom while I was brushing my teeth. It stuck. Again. And not for the reason you would think. I wrote about this song again in my quiet time with God this afternoon and during my Colossians study.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnBc9pln0V429lAIkk3vUn26Q8Kazehw9s8Tu0HfM9SC_g3m1ahZYmaf-meshN4hKR6J5ywBR_yjXYOIFzr5Hj6koSi5_FSlztNm6P-eOZbajxfgPZAW0LLjacinhCJKOpBkhfsDj1hlE/s1600/Drowning.gif"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 216px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnBc9pln0V429lAIkk3vUn26Q8Kazehw9s8Tu0HfM9SC_g3m1ahZYmaf-meshN4hKR6J5ywBR_yjXYOIFzr5Hj6koSi5_FSlztNm6P-eOZbajxfgPZAW0LLjacinhCJKOpBkhfsDj1hlE/s320/Drowning.gif" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5634158113763399890" /></a>This song stuck for various reasons other than the fact that it was describing me at this point...drowning, broken, falling apart. It's actually the complete opposite. As I listened to the lyrics repeatedly, downloaded the song on my iPod, kept listening...I realized that for the first time in a long time I DIDN'T feel like I was falling apart, treading water...drowning. Because I was. I was floating around, not knowing where to go. Questioning whether or not I knew who I was, what/who I was living for...I even questioned my saving faith for a while. This took place during our month of vacation and a while after. It wasn't until after I returned home that I actually showed an effort to reunite with my Savior and Father who I was forgetting, and worse, ignoring in my life. <br /><br /><em>"The hardest thing in the world must be to watch your children forget you. I was one of those children, and I probably will again fall to that. He watches us forget, even after He loves."</em><br /><br />This quote came out of one of my dear friend's blog posts which I read about 20 minutes ago, and further compelled me to write this post up-finally. {There are definitely times when I debate writing and opening up}<br />And honestly, she couldn't have said this better. Because this was exactly how it was for me, and I'll most likely fall back into this in the future.<br /><br />I was forgetting God. He was watching me forget Him, ignore Him, and live my life for myself and how I wanted to. I didn't bring anything to Him besides a couple minutes of prayer at the end of the day which was one of those prayers{again, explained in my friend's blog}that wasn't really MEANING the words. I would retire after a long lovely day of living for myself and mumble a few things and then turn out the lights. It...it wasn't good, and I'm still ashamed of that.<br /><br />But I was forgetting Him. What He did. It was the common routine that I fell into. And the worst part of if was that, deep down, I knew what I was doing. <br /><em>"It's not easy but I know You see me when I lose my way..."</em><br />But deep down, I also knew that He saw me and everything that was happening. He saw through me as clear as glass and knew everything that I was hiding. THAT was my hope. My only hope at the time, actually. I knew that somehow, God saw me, and He would follow through in what He promised.<br /><br />Jeremiah 29:13- <em>"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."</em><br />That was the thing. I wasn't seeking Him, and when I thought I was, I wasn't seeking Him with my whole heart. This verse was actually brought up a couple months earlier. <br /><br />{Rewind to around...4? 5? months earlier. I was struggling. Again. And I had only told a couple people what was going on. One of the people I told actually LISTENING. They comforted me in the way they knew would actually help. When I woke up after a night of crying and crying out to God, I logged onto my facebook, and written nicely and plainly on my wall was this verse and some song lyrics from this person. That's it. They didn't write an explanation, because they didn't need too. And even then, I didn't fully listen to grasp on to the whole "WHOLE heart" detail.}<br /><br />Not until I saw several of my friends falling into the same thing did I receive my wake up call. It was as if God was sick of me forgetting Him and He KNEW I needed to wake up before I kept sinking and going in the opposite direction of what I should have been striving for. BAM. There it went.<br /><br />I don't remember everything that happened, but I remember that it involved lots of tears, repenting, thankfulness, and talking with the One who I'm in love with and live for. I rededicated my life to Christ, and gave Him all my worries, pain, sorrow, and confusion about what had been happening. I was tired of pretending, of hiding, and I was seeking rest that could only be satisfied by Him alone. <br /><br />In turn, God renewed that peace in my heart that I have now- that no matter what goes on around me, He'll never leave me. He'll always be there to give me the wake up call. I just need to consciously try, give an effort. Not effortlessly let myself fall away.<br /><br />Now fast forward back to today.<br /><br />This song pops up out of nowhere, reminding me of where I was, how far God has brought me! I thank Him everyday for what He's done. Ever since I gave Him all my worries, confusion, sin and pain, it's as if it all disappeared. <br /><br />Psalm 103:12- <em>"...as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us."</em><br /><br />My mind used to focus on that. I would put on masks whenever I was around other people, but when I was alone, it would all come out. It seemed to be all I could think about. Pain. Fear. Confusion. I had no idea what to do with it, and it was as if I was too prideful to give it to God and admit what I was doing. I wanted to handle things myself. I hope I never make that mistake again. The peace and complete rest that God gives when you give Him everything, surrender all you have...it's beautiful.<br /><br />And now when I'm frequently bombarded and tempted with times that I could very well start harboring my feelings again and start ignoring Him and let my emotions take control of me, God gives me the power to ignore those temptations. God will always be there...that's the one thing that I'll never have to worry about.<br /><br />I realize that it won't always be like this. I realize that there will be times where I don't feel as secure and safe like I feel right now. When I'll feel lost and broken and like I'm drowning all over again. One thing I'm doing about that doubt of the future is keeping a spiritual journal. I started it almost a year ago, and I write everything in there. I write what I'm going through. I cry out to God, I admit my weaknesses. I'm hoping that during the times where I cry out to God to hold me together, I can can look back at what He's done and surrender to Him once again and continue to fall deeper in love with Him. And besides my journal...I know and trust that God won't let me go, let me fall. <br /><br />Furthermore, because of my constant procrastination/forgetfulness about my quiet time with God everyday, I decided to start my own Colossians study. I'm almost 1/2 way through it, and should be finished the first week of August when I'll pick another book to study. It helps to pick something to study and stick to it. Before, I had been picking random passages where I felt need to read. I still do that sometimes now, but I do it along with my consistent study each day. And I love it! Daily God is reminding me of His goodness and love for me, His daughter.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4DxjR_6Mal_cB5DNGnhZs74KRSD49OX11pj-Wx-Tc5X9OyB2YY-bgKKkCbDVGd5MebvGeabkKDEdmFMt192GV4ksUYt1M9rjvnuho4kaljQ4RiNYg-tTMCyTGQv7zOcWYLtCQKFFteNM/s1600/HOLD+FAST"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4DxjR_6Mal_cB5DNGnhZs74KRSD49OX11pj-Wx-Tc5X9OyB2YY-bgKKkCbDVGd5MebvGeabkKDEdmFMt192GV4ksUYt1M9rjvnuho4kaljQ4RiNYg-tTMCyTGQv7zOcWYLtCQKFFteNM/s320/HOLD+FAST" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5634158326231885266" /></a>God is now constantly reminding me to hold fast and that there is ALWAYS hope. Life is a journey towards the ultimate prize- living forever with my Lord and Savior. Without...pain. Worries. Emotional struggles. Fear. Doubt. Tears.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />There is nothing else that I would rather be doing than living every day for Him.<br /><br />"Without you, I'm falling apart."<br /><br />Remey.Lauren Christinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15855573492156083534noreply@blogger.com0